Six things you can do TODAY! instead of scrolling through social media (again.)

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. ~Steve Jobs

Social media is popular, useful, and sometimes fun…but when is it problematic?

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO, when you’re short on time) has been tied to the feelings of envy, anxiety and general ‘not good enough-ness’ created by extra browsing on social media. Scrolling, reading, and taking in photos adds up to passive involvement in the lives of other people instead of active living. This is a real lose-lose situation unless you were trying to waste time. And it could lower your happy levels.

So. I came up with some alternative actions for when I feel I’m getting an overdose of the ‘Gram.

1.) Call a real person.

“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.” ~Shirley Maclaine

I did this. It was awkward. And then not.

Calling someone with your phone sounds like an outdated practice, doesn’t it?  But research has shown that hearing a human voice is more socially and emotionally beneficial than looking at Facebook stories, or even texting.  And the benefits increase if you see and hear people (on FaceTime or Zoom for example.)

In this 3-minute Listen from All Things Considered, science journalist Lydia Denworth explains that “…friendship - your level of social integration, so either how connected you are or how isolated you are, effects cardiovascular functioning, immune system functioning, cognitive health, mental health and even the rate at which your cells age.” 

Lydia goes on to explain that “…you still get lots of benefits from virtual communication because hearing the voice of someone you care about can reduce your stress levels. And Zoom video conference can make you feel connected and bonded, and that releases oxytocin, which makes us feel good. And even just, like, a text from a friend that makes you laugh is going to trigger endorphins, which also have a sort of positive effect on your health.”

I know you’re thinking that calling on the phone is inconvenient, if not straight-up unpleasant.  And it is time consuming. And there’s the social fear of being annoying, or of not knowing what to say, or even being rejected.  But trust me, if they don’t have time they won’t answer. You’ll get over that awkwardness once the receiver of the call settles into the fact that you called them because you like them.  You probably both like each other.  And that breeds warm feelings of true connectedness, way more than just “thumbs-up” liking your frenemies’ photo of their new car/puppy/baby/condo/bootyshorts. And you’ll feel an amazing sense of accomplishment for being pro-active and for facing your fears of calling. Win-win!

2.) Keep real books close to you.

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” ~Oscar Wilde

We check our feeds because it’s easy and convenient, and we’ve created a habit. So changing the habit takes creating an equally easy and convenient alternative. This one has the potential to inspire, relax, inform or entertain you in a much more authentic way than spying a personal rant on social media.

Grab books from the library about things you really care about. (And guess what, you can do that online.) It’s free, so get creative and don’t laugh at what interests you. Put the books or magazines in places you can easily access, like your desk, your backpack, near your potty, your bedside…anyplace you would usually “read” your phone. You’ll find it hurts your neck a lot less. And you make a new friend; the author of the book. Who you can follow on Facebook later. Improving your feed. Win-win!

3.) Sit still and breathe.

“Conscious breathing is my anchor.”  ~Thich Nhat Hahn

How many times have you heard that advice? It gets thrown around about as haphazardly as “thoughts and prayers” drenched in “love and light.” But really. Here’s how it helps:

Social media has been shown to sometimes increase our stress levels, and that stress can be balanced by developing a stillness practice. Deep breathing slows the body’s fight-or-flight response, aka our stress levels, and controlled breathing allows the body to relax. When relaxed, the heart rate slows down, and the mind calms.  Spending just a few moments in this calm state sets up the rest of our day for success. We are able to respond to the things that happen to us with a mindset that involves problem solving alternatives, not just a fighting or running away mentality. And it’s easy. All it takes to control your breath is to know you are breathing, and to count in your head! Try counting to four on each inhalation, and count to six as you slowly breathe out. When you do this repeatedly, you’ll find that your body relaxes.

Try it, and let me know if you still feel like scrolling.

4.) Write haiku.

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”  ~Jack Kerouac

Or write a poem, a melody, make a sketch…the point is you can take ten minutes to press on your creative buttons, and maybe release a little bit of something that needed to get out.

The goal of a haiku poem is to tell a story, evoke a setting, and to stir an emotion in a short arrangement of (usually seventeen) syllables. The haiku represents a moment frozen in time, and by practicing haiku writing we learn to make our ideas more effective and clear with fewer and fewer words. How’s that for improving communication skills?!

In an article for the Old Farmer’s Almanac, writer Margaret Boyles shares that writing haiku every day serves her as convenient therapy. She explains the general “rules” of haiku writing, along with some of her own (quite charming!) examples.  

Whether you decide to use the framework of haiku, or another way of creating a miniature artwork, working this “small” helps you to center your thoughts, express an idea, think creatively…all things that have advantages for the brain and create happy feelings of accomplishment, which can counterbalance the often lonely or negative feelings found by wasting time on social media  You can save your writing or sketches as a starting point for a larger work, you can give them as gifts, or use them as part of a personal journal. The point is you will have some much more value than instead of trolling or scrolling, feel less tired and more fulfilled. Win-win!

5.) Clear the clutter.

“When your room is clean and uncluttered you have no choice but to examine your inner state.” ~Marie Kondo

Whoa. These are some significant observations from the expert in tidying.

Don’t worry. If a personal revolution is a little more than what you had planned for today, you can still benefit from tiny tidy breaks. Remember, this is about switching a habit one small step at a time!

Similar to getting still and breathing, or to creating a small sketch or haiku, a short time spent organizing will leave you with an improved mentality for the day. The trick is just to pick one small task and focus on it’s completion. Don’t go rake the yard and clean the garage if you’ve got to get back to work in an hour. Here are a few suggestions of short tasks, take mine and come up with your own. (You probably know what they are already.)

Go through your emails and unsubscribe from mailing lists you don’t care about. Put laundry away. Take out the trash. Clean the litter box. Sweep something. Throw away gross leftover things from the fridge. Pile up those books to go back to the library. Stack the mail and throw away the junk. Or how about deleting that messenger app?

Remember, organizing and getting rid of what you don’t need opens up space for new things that you could use. Win-win!

6.) Turn off your phone.

Or just plug it in, put it on airplane mode,  and put it on another room. Who is scrolling now?